MISSILE TOE Now an annual Christmas night tradition at Akron's Lime Spider, Missile Toe belted out another infectious set of punk-flavored holiday classics. Its repertoire has evolved slightly over eight holiday seasons, but still rests in classics like “Twas the Night Before Christmas,” with verses sung to the tune of Them's “Gloria” and choruses splicing “G-L-O-R-I-As” with some “glooooooooooorias” from “Angels We Have Heard on High”. The schtick was consistently hilarious, particularly as delivered by a frontman in a tinsel halo, plastic angel wings and a trashy red velvet party dress. But strangely, the encore of non-holiday rock covers ranging from the Buzzcocks' “What Do I Get” to Sweet's “Ballroom Blitz” felt like the greater achievement. The corporate institutionalization of rock can suck the life out of it, but Missile Toe's crass and silly irreverence combined with their fiery, tight musicianship resulted in some of the truest rock music out there. Being a cover band — even worse, a novelty cover band — makes it nigh impossible to be considered “real” professional musicians. But even more than being a “real” band, it so electrified those moldy oldies as to become rock and roll incarnate that night. (Originally published in The Cleveland Free Times, December 31, 2003) |